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Please design and build
me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use
your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and
forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the
bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints
to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring
me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily
pick one.
Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less
than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that
you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house
(the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the
walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).
As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance
costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of
extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding.
(If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain
your decision in detail.)
Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials
are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace
for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however,
that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things,
my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.
To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire
family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and
also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings
about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at
least once a year.
Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come
to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule
any choices that you make.
Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job
is to develop the overall plans for the house: Get the big picture.
At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing
the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife likes
blue.
Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources
to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed
plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however,
I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.
While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in
mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else.
It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential
buyers.
Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a
consensus of the population in my area that they like the features
this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's
house that he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It
has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularly
the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe
that you can design this into our new house without impacting the
final cost.
Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary
at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only
for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held
accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result
of later design changes.
You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting
project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials
and to be given such freedom in your
designs is something that can't happen very often.
Contact me as
soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.
PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.
PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.
~ author unknown
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